AN OPEN LETTER TO NFL/ROGER GOODELL
Greetings. Hope this finds you well. You fumbled. You dropped the ball. Literally. Two games for Ray Rice. Are you fucking kidding me?
Let me address this with something you can relate to. Money. I am a female NFL fan. I buy a lot of game tickets. I purchase a lot of merchandise. I have many female friends who purchase gifts for me and for their loved ones. I buy for my father and on occasion I’ve had a significant other and have purchased gifts for him as well. I own everything from a Saints garden gnome to lip balm. I’ve been to the HOF and SBXLIV and easily 50+ NFL games over the last few years. So yeah–we exist and you should consider a next step that doesn’t insult the fuck out of us. Ideally I’d take this opportunity to help you exam the perspective of your actions from the female point of view but to be honest I think it will fall on deaf ears and it appears that the one thing that is consistent with the NFL is the money train.
Perhaps you have limited access to the internet these days but here are a few updates. Weed is no longer a big deal. But domestic violence is. And you look like a misogynist fuck that doesn’t care about anything other than the bottom line. I know you’re still waiting for additional medical information to assess the risks of grass, but since you were late to the game on the damages of concussion let me assure you–weed is safer than playing football. My intention in writing this letter wasn’t to discuss marijuana, we can save that for another day but the disparity between the punishments between weed usage and domestic violence is so jacked up that you really have to do better.
Speaking of parity- that it the driving force behind my love of the NFL. People ask me why I’m an NFL fan and it’s because every game counts (except preseason) and it’s the highest level of competition every week. You are successful for a reason but don’t get it twisted to the point that you discount the women who contribute. Fans, Mothers, Wives, Sisters, Friends, Aunts, Daughters, Girlfriends, Cousins, Side-Pieces. You need to extend the same support and show women that you do give a shit. Or at least master the art of pretending.
Sounds tough I’m sure. I’m on my lunch hour so I can’t put together a full business plan for you but here are a few ideas off the top of my head.
• Implement a domestic violence initiative for the NFL. You can keep your breast cancer pink party but perhaps consider a cause that is really fucking organic to your league. Make Ray Rice visit other teams in the league and speak to them. Not the canned bullshit for reporters but some closed door locker room dialogue. Also maybe find a dude who doesn’t hit women anymore and have him tell his story too. Everybody loves a happy ending.
• Donate an excessive amount of money to women’s shelters and don’t show up for any ribbon cutting or anything like that. Send some big fat checks, stay home and shut the fuck up. Also take $1 as your pay like the lockout of 2011.
• Hire some people who have access to the internet to then tell you what the fuck is up in the real world because this shitshow is on your watch.
PS-In fun news my iPhone now recognizes Roger GotoHell and I do keep a personal bounty list.
*Amy Witry is host of NFL FAN TABLE on SugarBang.com