The time has come, everyone.  This is the last blog from the States for a month.  It has come to this.  Jonathan has yet to follow me on Twitter.  I guess he and Michael Rapaport aren’t that close, as Michael has not persuaded JS to man up and make the next move.  Yes, we could still have the airport drama tomorrow before I leave, but I’ve learned to not get my hopes up when it comes to men.  As Frenchie says in Grease, “The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy.”

The one thread of hope comes from an interview that I read online this morning.  If you’re in a hurry, let me give you a Reader’s Digest version of what was said.  The author touches the subject that our Jonathan could play Christian Grey in the film version 50 Shades of Grey.  Hogwash. Jonathan is better than that.  That book should be given as required reading at Guantanamo Bay. There isn’t even any sex until chapter 7!  I thought it was an erotica book.  Try again.  It’s just Twilight with a little Adderall.  That’s it.

The one shred of hope lies in these lines: 

“I try not to get trapped into everybody’s image of who they think I am or who I should be. You turn on Howard Stern, he’s making me out to be this guy that I’m really not,” Stamos said.

“I’m a guy that wants to be in a relationship and should be in a relationship. Sometimes I’m afraid of it because I don’t want to let people down… You get caught up in it. You don’t want to disappoint people.”

“You think I’m in New York, playing around. I sometimes feel the responsibility to be that guy… [but] I’ve been in New York for five weeks now, and I’ve gone to bed by myself,” he said.

My love!  You don’t have to be what you think others expect of you.  My ex boyfriend wanted me be to believe that he deserved a blowjob whenever “he needed it,” but guess what?  Not happening, buddy.

The fact that you’ve gone to bed alone every night whilst in NYC makes my heart pitter pat.  I cannot promise you the same for my European excursion, but you’re older, richer, and famous, so I have some oat soiling to catch up with.

So here’s the deal, Regulars.  I’ll probably be radio silent until Flashback Friday, and with the time change, who knows when you’ll get your flashback.  Just rest assured that I will continue to woo Jonathan.  Upon my return, he will be SO in love with me because my project in Paris is ballsy. Men love ballsy women.  Except Muslim extremists.

Please follow my insanity overseas.  It will not disappoint.