Desperately Seeking Degeneres

It’s Friday.  Which means nothing to me since I’m slightly unemployed.  Although I lack a regular income, I do have a full plate, and that is why I haven’t updated you.  Let me catch you up as to what’s happening.

NOTHING.

Danny didn’t deliver.  Apparently, Danny is not interested in artisanal cheeses with homemade chutney, perfectly placed in a hand woven basket that could later be used as a magazine holder.  Or toilet paper holder.  Or you could roll up your hand towels in that cute little way so your guests have FRESH hand towels, and nobody has to share one nasty towel hanging on that ugly bar.  Doesn’t really matter because Danny doesn’t care.

So, I’m taking it to the next level, people.  And by next level, I mean I’m going to write America’s sweetheart, Ellen Degeneres.  Ellen loves helping the underdog.  That’s HER thing.  She can’t resist this.  I also happen to know that she can empathize with a woman chasing a ghost of a man because she used to chase after George Clooney to be on HER show.  Do you remember this?

Obliviously, her resources are far more superior to my letter writing campaign.  If I could just GET HER ON MY SIDE, I know we could catch this man.  

My project for the weekend is to construct a very well-written letter to Ms. Degeneres.  It must be classy, witty, humble…  So many adjectives!  I have to go.  I have work to do.

And by the by, she did eventually get her man.