Gender Gaps

This morning, I awoke with a pounding headache, drenched in perspiration.  Granted, I’m ill, but I had also had a disturbing dream. I know that nobody wants to hear about our dreams and our workouts, but this dream had meaning for me and Jonathan.

In the dream, I was on trial for having sex with 2 guys.  Not at the same time, mind you.  (Not that it matters.  I’m cool with anything in the bedroom as long as it’s consensual.)  I had a motorcycle helmet by my feet at the trial.  The prosecutor (a woman) asked, “What is that?”  I said, “I drove my Vespa here.”  She responded, “Oh really?  Does it make you scream?”  (courtroom laughs)  I say, “Oh, I get it.  So you’re implying that I enjoy sex, which I do, and it makes me scream.”  (courtroom gasps)  Then I go on my rant.  “Let’s say I did have sex with these 2 gentlemen, which I didn’t, but for the sake of argument, let’s say I did.  Why does it matter?  Why should I feel ashamed for having sex at all? If I were a man you’d give me a high five and buy me a scotch.”  (OK, I didn’t say that last part EXACTLY like that as it’s a loose quote from Samantha in Sex and the City, but you catch my drift.)

I didn’t hear the outcome of the trial because my moving words jolted me out of my slumber.  It really makes me happy that my subconscious still held my feminist values during unconsciousness.  I’d like to high five my subconscious and buy IT a scotch.

Tis true, I am a feminist.  I believe that women should have the same rights as anyone else (politically, socially, economically, etc.).  Double standards chap my hide.  Especially the one that states men who have sex are studs, and women who have sex are sluts.  It doesn’t even make sense.  In order for you to be a stud you have to soil a girl’s reputation?  Ugh.  STUPID.

However, being a feminist also means that I need to sand up for the rights of men.  Men should not have to abide by the silly stereotypes society has deemed “male” to get respect from others.

Enter Vanessa Taylor, author of Platinum Girl Celebrity Blog.  I encourage you to read her whole article.  It’s very short.  But I’ll give you some highlights if you’re in a rush.

Apparently, Stamos made this statement:

In a recent interview where he was asked why he’s still single, John Stamos replied, “I got no moves! I think I’m being presumptuous if I hit on a girl. There have been plenty of times when I should have asked for someone’s number but I didn’t.”

Ms. Taylor is vehemently against men who don’t go out and get what they want, and ladies, YOU SHOULD BE TOO.  Words of wisdom from the Sage:

Realize that a man who isn’t aggressively pursuing you in the beginning is a man who isn’t aggressively pursuing you later. I’ve never seen a woman chase a man and end up in a happy relationship. Often times, she does all of the work, he’s not initiating sex, and her self-esteem is in a ditch.

If I’m wrong and there really are men who simply can’t pursue women because they’re shy, it still doesn’t matter; Don’t approach them. If he’s so shy that he can’t make a move, I swear he’s socially awkward in other ways.

You want a warrior, someone who takes what he wants in life. A man afraid of his own shadow is the one to send you downstairs to check on the noise he heard in the kitchen because thinks there might be a burglar in the house.

This makes my blood boil.  How can women expect to be treated equally if we make such ridiculous requirements for men?  There are shy men out there that aren’t “warriors” that “take what they (he) want in life.”  (Which sounds rapey to me.)  I have alpha female friends who initiated conversations with their current husbands.  Everyone’s happy, having sex, but no tests on the burglar thing.  I say if she has a black belt or knows how to shoot a gun, why does it matter if she’s the one to kick the burglar’s ass?  It’s 2013!  Am I taking crazy pills or something????

If you’ve read some of my previous blogs, you know that I’m not a huge fan of pursuing men.  It doesn’t work for me.  I lose my hard on for a dude if he doesn’t reciprocate, and it has nothing to do with him being a pussy.  I just assume he doesn’t get my awesomeness.  I’m cool with it.

Jonathan, I am here to tell you that I don’t care if you are Vanessa Taylor’s definition of “socially awkward.”  If I were you, I’d take it as a compliment.

Oh, also in my dream, I  found $340 dollars in cash on the beach.  That’s 1 three hundred dollar bill and 2 twenties.