TALES OF WEST HOLLYWOOD: IS THERE SUCH A THING AS TOO PICKY?

IS THERE SUCH A THING AS TOO PICKY?

I’ve been known to knit pick when it comes to dating.

Anyone who doesn’t know the difference between too/to/two, you’re/your or their/they’re/there isn’t going to last very long in my world.

I once chose to end things with someone I was dating because he wasn’t interested enough in politics.  (He balked when I could identify my senators but not the cast of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.)

I had issues with a guy I hung out with whose head was more octagonal than round.  (What?  His face looked like a stop sign.)

I dated a guy who growled when he was turned on (which was about every waking moment).  It’s one thing if you’re endorsing breakfast cereal; it’s another when you’re trying to enjoy a nice dinner.

I’ve always been particular about liking a guy’s voice, so when I went out with a guy who sounds like a cross between Kermit the Frog and a Valley girl, it, like, totally ended quickly.

In college I broke up with my boyfriend because he played out a series of disgusting pranks on his roommate.  What sort of pranks, you ask?  I’ll tell you.  This gentleman pleasured himself and spooned the *results* into his roommate’s face wash just for the hell of it.  A little funny?  Yes, but the poor kid didn’t do anything to deserve it.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m being too choosy because I’m far from perfect; in fact, I know I can be perfectly annoying and eccentric at times.

But you know what?  When it’s right – when it’s really, really right – I’ll know, and these Seinfeld-like observations will just melt away.

 

ABOUT: TALES OF WEST HOLLYWOOD

Seeking a change in his life, the author moved to his own apartment in West Hollywood in 2008.  The column is a look at the life of this single 29 year-old who’s enjoying his life while casually looking for Mr. Right…or Mr. Right Now.